Tag Archives: Zartan

G.I. Joe – Cold Slither

It’s quite possible the stupidest episode of G.I. Joe ever is called Cold Slither. Cobra’s broke, their bases and armaments are up for auction, and Cobra Commander decides it’s a good idea to create a rock band and insert subliminal messages into the songs. Recruiting the Dreadnoks for the mission Cobra disguises them as a rock band called Cold Slither. With Zartan on vocals and the others playing guitar, keyboards, and drums, they jump into the top 20 in a matter of weeks, attracting an audience of suburban Americans vying for the latest thing in manufactured pop music. The goal is to create an army of suburban rockers, subservient to Cobra. Naturally it doesn’t work out. Continue reading

A G.I. Joe Christmas

G.I. Joe: Cobra C.L.A.W.’s are Coming to Town

In traditional American fashion G.I. Joe gives a Christmas episode. Yet in the tradition of the show, this Christmas episode is rife with combat; Cobra’s up to their absurd world domination antics, even during the holidays. The episode begins with the G.I. Joe crew collecting presents for a patriotic holiday drive. Unfortunately, a wooden horse isn’t actually what it seems to be, creating yuletide woe for the generally flamboyant Joe’s. Continue reading