Stallone walked into a Warner Brothers office and said he wanted ten million dollars to make a montage of constipated faces with Sammy Hagar’s latest abortion playing behind it. They gave him 25 million and said to wrap a loose story around it. The result is Over the Top, a film about the high stakes world of competitive arm wrestling. Since the MPAA wouldn’t give a PG rating to a film about harrowing bowel movements Stallone used the “sport” as a vehicle for his ambitions – showing the most absurd action faces in film history. I’m honestly not sure whether it’s asinine or art, poking fun at the hyper-bravado inherent in the average American male.
Below is a selection of screen captures I did this afternoon while watching another Stallone movie: Rocky III, featuring Mr. T and Hulk Hogan as Thunderlips. It’s the first time I’ve had a free afternoon in quite a while and I’m sharing it with you, dear reader, in the hopes that these pictures from Over the Top become a desktop background somewhere.
If you’re a regular reader you’re probably wondering why an intellectual giant like myself is reviewing a wrestling DVD. You’re probably also wondering how you lucked onto such an insightful blog, thanking whatever lord you pray to for bringing you my radiant musings. I hope by now you realize that I’m kidding about my gargantuan intelligence; I still hold that my musings are radiant, bringing joy to the miniscule masses that read this. However, I still have to get to why I’m writing about professional wrestling, an example of the lowest form of entertainment on earth. Continue reading
Posted in Television
Tagged Bam Bam Bigelow, Bill Alfonso, Chris Benoit, ECW, Eddie Guerrero, Mick Foley, New Jack, Paul Heyman, Philadelphia, professional wrestling, Raven, Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Sandman, Taz, Terry Funk, The Dudley Boys, The Rise and Fall of ECW, Tommy Dreamer, violent wrestling, WCW, WWE
Every aspect of the Patrick Swayze film Road House is absurd. He’s a notorious bouncer (I didn’t know such a thing exists), he’s a martial arts master, he commands hundreds of dollars a day out of a bar with a very small clientele, and he has a philosophy degree from NYU – basically complete nonsense. What bothers me most is the economics of Road House, which don’t make sense whatsoever. Yet for some reason Road House is a revered action film, playing on basic cable channels multiple times a week. Basically, Road House is for bouncers what Cocktail is for bartenders: complete and utter bullshit. Continue reading
Posted in Movies
Tagged Ben Gazzara, Cocktail, Dalton, Double Deuce, dumb henchmen, I thought you'd be bigger, John Doe, Kelly Lynch, NYU, Patrick Swayze, philosophy, Road House, Road House economics, Rowdy Herrington, Sam Elliott, Terry Funk, Wesley