The 83rd Annual Academy Awards: The Official Sponsor of Bullshit

Top 10 random thoughts on the 83rd annual Academy Awards.

1. The King’s Speech wasn’t the best picture on that list (I believe it was either True Grit or Winter’s Bone).  It was good but it wasn’t great; if anything it was mediocre and sentimental and relied on trite tropes.

2. The commercials were really obnoxious, like usual, with the most offensive commercial being the American Cancer Society’s proclamation that they’re, “The Official Sponsor of Birthdays.” What? I didn’t know the ACS had that much authority to assume they have a hand in everybody’s birthday. Of course I think cancer is terrible and I’m hoping when I get cancer groups like the ACS are there to lend a helping hand but by officially sponsoring birthdays they’re overstepping their bounds. If they’re the official sponsor of birthdays I’m the official sponsor of anniversaries. Hear that world? Every anniversary is sponsored by me and this blog!

3. James Franco and Anne Hathaway weren’t that good as the show’s hosts. They gave it their best but it wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t necessarily their faults and I blame the writers, who didn’t write any of the material for the two hosts, but the writing just seemed lazy and stupid this year. In fact, I believe this was probably the worst Academy Awards show I’ve ever seen.

4. When Melissa Leo, or next year’s Best Supporting Actress winner, says “fucking easy,” you only need to cut out the “fuck;” everything else is suitable for young ears.

5. The Fighter was only mediocre, although Christian Bale’s portrayal of a washed-up crackhead was good and Melissa Leo’s performance as an over dominating mother was worthy of an Oscar. I personally felt Jennifer Lawrence’s role in Winter’s Bone was more deserving of the statue, although I’m hopeful she has a nice, long career ahead of her.

6. The only funny thing about turning various movies into trashy pop musicals was the Twilight thing. I’m not a big fan of Mormon vampires with a conscious and that Jacob kid walking around with his shirt off all the time doesn’t interest me.

7. Paying homage to a bunch of old movies so Hathaway and Franco host less was dull. Also, saying the Oscars are more “youth oriented,” is also silly, especially since the youth will watch it regardless of presentation; the youth like watching movie stars talk shit.

8. The beginning skit where Hathaway and Franco travel into Alec Baldwin’s dream was only mediocre and fell apart at the end when the duo mimicked Back to the Future – it didn’t work. If they came onto the stage in the car it might’ve worked but they just came out in fancy clothes and said lackluster things.

9. Kirk Douglas was actually funny, even though he already has one foot in the grave. There were parts of his speech that were excruciating but overall he was quite charming and humorous. It’s too bad Spartacus is going on 100 and sounds like he has Bells Palsy; he was an incredible actor once.

10. Ending the show with an elementary school choir wearing Hanes t-shirts was tacky and made the show seem schizophrenic. There was really no theme for the entire broadcast and the ending was weak. I didn’t even watch at this point, turning off the television and going to sleep.

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7 responses to “The 83rd Annual Academy Awards: The Official Sponsor of Bullshit

  1. My main complaint was that neither Boyle nor Nolan were nominated for Director. Both were far better than any of the nominated directors. And Nolan not winning Best Original Screenplay? Really?!? 12 years of writing. Dreams within dreams within dreams within dreams within an awesome narrative of layers within dreams about layers. All that and it was beaten a period drama with a relatively typical plot? Shocking.

    Other than that I thought the ceremony was alright. Nothing special. Not overly funny, not overly emotional. Just, meh. I think I love Anne Hatheway though.

    Downey Jr. to host next year.

  2. GirlfriendLady

    I believe Spartacus had a stroke.

    Franco and Hathaway were awful, and I do feel for them because the world pretty much thought they were awful, and when we mortals are awful its forgettable, but they are going to look back on this and cringe for a long, long time. Franco lacks the charisma that Hathaway has in surplus.

    Also, I thought that Inception was very clever, but the screenplay was flawed–he spread his ideas too thick and too thin too often.

  3. @MacTingz: I liked Inception but don’t think it deserved best picture or director. Personally I though Aranofsky should’ve won best director and I think best picture should’ve gone to either Winter’s Bone or True Grit. Nolan’s script was really good and against the other competition it’s probably the best choice (I don’t think The King’s Speech should’ve won best screenplay). I thought The King’s Speech was mediocre; highly entertaining but a little sappy for my tastes.

    @Girlfriend Lady: I’m sure Hathaway and Franco are still beating themselves up over their performances on Sunday night and people will scrutinize them more than us plebs. I think you’re right about Nolan’s screenplay, even though it was a really entertaining movie. My only complaint involves the snow dream and a few loose ends Nolan never really cleared up. I’m also of the belief Nolan is becoming a one trick pony, constantly going for the mindfuck with his films instead of attempting a remarkable, straightforward film. He needs to branch out and not become a high budget version of M. Night Dingaling. =)

  4. Even if Nolan’s script does contain the odd failure, I prefer to see a hugely bold scrip full of original ideas be recognized than ideas I feel I’ve heard before. I would have loved to have seen Danny Boyle nominated, and indeed win for Best Director. To produce a film with practically one setting and one character and make it so enthralling was marvelous.

    Melissa Leo’s shameless Oscar campaign was a bit much for me too. Not that I saw it first hand living in the UK of course. But full page magazine ads is offensively strong. For that alone I’d have seen the award go to someone else. Apparently Jackie Weaver’s performance in Animal Kingdom was similar to Leo’s only much better. But I can’t say as I’ve yet to see it.

  5. I haven’t seen Animal Kingdom but the little clips I’ve seen, especially of Weaver, were really impressive and I can’t wait to check that one out. I thought Melissa Leo was good in The Fighter, but I also felt The Fighter was a perfectly mediocre biopic, offering nothing new to cinema nor taking anything away. In short, it was something people would forget years later had Bale and Leo not taken home the statues. I’m happy Portman won best actress even though I think Lawrence was better in Winter’s Bone. I have to hand it to Portman, she really put it out there in Black Swan and made up for years of mediocre performances (Star Wars, V for Vendetta, etc.). By the way, Portman’s accent in V for Vendetta was just awful; even I can do a better job and I’m not British nor am I an actor.

    I liked 127 Hours but I think Boyle’s done better. Here’s the conversation I feel went on between James Franco and a 20th Century Fox bigwig regarding that film.

    Rich White Man: James, we like you; we feel you’re a valuable asset and if you do your homework and get the right roles you could go even further in this town. So we’re going to pair you with Danny Boyle and give you a modest vehicle to test your acting chops. Also, we demand a blowjob.
    Franco: When and where, sir?

    I though Franco was good but didn’t deserve an Oscar nod and even though Boyle’s a good director (I love Trainspotting and Shallow Grave) I don’t think its best picture material.

    On Nolan’s script, I felt it was a really entertaining film and well written and put together. However, I don’t believe it’s best original screenplay material either; I also don’t think this about The King’s Speech, which was good but a bit sentimental and stereotypical at times (basically, it was Oscar bait. Then again, so was The Fighter). I really felt Somewhere deserved recognition at the Oscars (possible for best original screenplay) and felt Coppola’s little film explored what it means to be human better than Nolan’s high budget, albeit entertaining, dream film. Coppola was robbed yet again and even though Orlando Sentinel film critic Roger Moore (ugh!) panned the film (which led to a series of online debates…or at least on my end. He’s just an asshole), saying it was pretentious and pointless, I felt it was one of the few films this year that spoke about complacency and apathy in the early 21st century.

  6. Encrazed Crafts

    I didn’t tune in for this, though I heard the applause and music from Jurassic Park and ET and the like now and then from the other room. I heard that catwoman really tried her best while Franco almost planned and aimed for a terrible night. The only part I sort of want to see is the intro bit where they are in other movies up for the award.

    Ironic that the badly written/boring ceremony awarded the badly written/boring movie the win, eh?

  7. I didn’t think The King’s Speech was outright awful but I did think it wasn’t deserving of multiple Oscars. The introduction scene was entertaining until the very end but it went downhill from there. It just seemed stilted this year, like everybody was trying to fit a mold that’s irregular. Catwoman’s speech, the random old movie worship, and the hosts were awkward and ill placed, making the show’s momentum awful. I also wasn’t extremely happy with most of the winners but what people loved this year differs from what I did.

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